


Retaining Desire

by Okami01



Series: Hilclaude week 2020 [4]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Crushes, F/M, First Kiss, Hilclaude Week (Fire Emblem), Love Confessions, Pre-Time Skip, Spoilers, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:53:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24726307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Okami01/pseuds/Okami01
Summary: Claude realizes that he might be in love with Hilda for real. Then the war happens.
Relationships: Hilda Valentine Goneril/Claude von Riegan
Series: Hilclaude week 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1778047
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13
Collections: Hilclaude Week 2020





	Retaining Desire

**Author's Note:**

> Sort of a sequel to the other HilClaude fics but you can read this one without reading the others.

____________________________________

Almyra was different from the Fodlan in most senses. Claude imagined that his time in the Leicester Alliance was also different. Because no one was supposed to know that he was a prince. There weren't any retainers of blood oaths.   
Everyone back in Almyra would tell him to fight his own battles. His parents wouldn't help, necessarily. Neither would Judith. You weren't supposed to rely on other people. You could be sure. A little. But not heavily.  
Not like how Dimitri and Dedue and Edelgard and Hubert seemed to be. Their relationships were drastically different from each other. Still, they got along from what it looked like. 

A few years or so before coming to Garreg Mach, it happened. When his Grandfather was showing him some political thing, Claude was trying to be interested because he needed to be. The more he learned about how disjointed the alliance could be and how much fighting they did with Almyra, the more he wanted to know. The more he needed to know.

Then they were at a ball. Claude liked parties though not exactly ones as stuffy as these. There was a girl there. With long pink hair, smiling in a shiny dress and eating pastries like who owned the entire continent. 

Then a pink-haired man introduced himself as her father. Her name was Hilda. She looked about his age. Pretty and happy to be there. Looking at him and smiling.  
" Hmm, so you're Claude. My dad asked me to make sure you're doing ok here."

Claude was ok as he'd ever been here. 

" We have to look out for each other… Our territories are right next to each other. You can fight can't you?" You'll need to do a lot of that around here."

She sounds sort of disgusted. Claude laughs. " Yeah, I can do that."

Hilda wasn't a very good tour guide. She looked bored explaining things. Claude suspected that if she could, she'd be home napping. 

___

Nothing about that changed when they came to Garreg Mach Until it did. Hilda told Claude that she didn't want to die for anyone. That she wouldn't. Their skirmishes with bandits and Crest beasts were dangerous. Life-threatening. She trusted him and he trusted her. They were both strong thankfully. And hopefully, it would be enough. He'd told her that he'd make sure she wouldn't have to die for anyone, especially him.

Then the war started. Edelgard started it, which might sound sort of juvenile to say. But despite the fact that Claude could understand her reasons, he thought there were better ways then declaring war on the entire continent of Fodlan. Dragging innocent people into your mess was hardly the way to go. 

He hadn't been expecting it. No one was really ever ready for war, now wasn't an exception. Claude had made it through assassination attempts and all sorts of horrible things. Those things only affected him. Or at least him and one assassin. And while he had no desire to die, now especially, he was surprised at how much he didn't want the friends he'd made at Garreg Mach not to die either. 

Not exactly surprised. Claude wasn't happy for anyone to die. 

At the point they'd gotten to, it was unsurprising when he found himself leading an army against Adresta.   
It was extremely surprising when Hilda showed up saying she wanted a part in it. To fight at his side. In a war tent in the middle of the night, it's one of the most surprising things that's ever happened. 

" You look shocked," she smiled. Claude was shocked. There was so much about Hilda that he couldn't figure out, yet there was so much that he couldn't figure out.   
Claude smiles back. Not exactly sure what the right words are, even now. Which has never been a problem before?   
" I just didn't expect you to show up. I'm glad to see you, just not under these circumstances."

" If I didn't do something, then Edelgard and her army would keep trampling all over us." She sighed. " And you…"

" Me?"

He expects her to say something like, ' I came back but I'm not going to die for you." Which would make sense.

" I really did have a crush on you back at Garreg Mach," she says instead. 

Claude blinks. Really not expecting that. 

Hilda continues. " And that's not why I came back of course… I just needed to tell you…"

It feels silly to admit, and yet, Claude says. " I had a crush on you too. I was glad everyone was so eager to get us together."

"Maybe people gossip about other people who should be together so much because they know they should be together." Hilda muses.

She plays with one of the sashes on Claude's jacket. Keeps smiling in the low lantern light.   
" I didn't want you to think that you had to protect me. So I didn't tell you."

" I don't think I've ever had to protect you from anything." Claude laughs. Hilda was absolutely ferocious in school when she wanted to be. 

Hilda yanks at his sash. She laughs too. "I know you're misremembering on purpose."  
He is. They've both saved each other in fights countless times.   
She stares at him, almost serious now.  
" That's different though… You protected everyone. I didn't want you to feel any different than you did having to protect Lorenz or Ignatz."

It makes sense and still, Claude thinks there was always a part of him that was in love with her.

. " I miss those days at the monastery…" She hums. "When we knew what was going to happen. Well… We know what's going to happen." She takes a breath. " We're going to win this war." 

" I'm glad you're on my side then."

"Heh… You should be! And well… even if things aren't like how they used to be… it's going to be alright." 

They'd have to win now. Because all the stories of Commanders and Kings falling in love with their knights and generals always win. No one wants to read a story about someone who let the love of his life down. Well, some people do. Claude doesn't.   
" If you ever want to run away then-"

"No." She says, still smiling faintly. Her voice grave. "You're not getting rid of me that easy."

" I wouldn't want to."

" Good. Now, there's something else that I'd really like…" 

Her voice trails off and one of her hands wraps around Claude's neck. 

" You're not trying to kill me are you," he asks teasingly. Stupidly. Because they'd been close together tons of time. If not to watch rumors spread like wildfire and see how far they spread. 

It'd been fun but somehow Claude wonders what it would have been like to really love her. He'd been afraid to then. He was even more afraid now, that he'd lose her. That she'd leave or get killed or some other terrible thing that he could always plan for but had no guarantee of stopping. 

Claude doesn't really think he's ever been in love. Not romantically anyway. 

Hilda doesn't seem to care. " Naw if I was going to do that then it wouldn't be like this." 

She squeezes him.   
" This is well… you did tell me I could grasp any part of you. And I want to."

Claude laughs. He thinks he really might be blushing. Hilda is. He's amused at all the things he used to say. He'd told Hilda he wasn't really in love with her before. His feelings weren't the only things he was good at lying about usually.   
" You remembered that of all things?"

" I remember a lot of things that you said… Mostly the things that I want to do though."

" Well," Claude says, putting his hands on Hilda's side. " I'm glad you remembered… so I don't have to say it again. I'd be fine repeating myself."

" Hmm, yeah I guess we both like the sound of your voice. There's something else you could do with your mouth. Tons of things actually…"

Before Claude can ask what she means… Well, he sort of knows but someplace with a bed might be better...

Hilda pulls him closer, downwards, and kisses him. He leans into it moaning or humming or making a noise he doesn't think he's ever made before. Vaguely wondering why they hadn't done this before. Only a little though, because most of his thoughts are drowned out by Hilda. 

She's rougher than most people, Claude thinks. He can taste some sort of sweet tea and smell a fragrance... lavender or something? 

She pulls away and smiles at him. He smiles back. 

" You're beautiful." He says dumbly. She's warm and stunning and sweet. 

" Heh, thanks. So are you." She licks her lips slowly.

" If I weren't so dazed, I'd write ballets."

" You can do that later… Now more kissing."  
She leans forward and kisses him again. Claude is a quick study. He kisses her back. Letting her do whatever she's doing with her tongue. He needs to figure that out too.

They pull away from each other, out of breath. Somehow they end up sitting down, Hilda in his lap. Which is good because Claude would bend his neck down forever if it meant he could keep kissing Hilda, but it was sort of uncomfortable. 

" I love you," Hilda says kissing him quickly on the lips.

Claude kisses her back on her forehead. " I love you too." He'd be sorry it took himself so long to say the words. At least now, they've been spoken.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy HilClaude week! Thanks for reading! I was going to do the bodyguard prompt and then it got angsty and sad so now they're just kissing.


End file.
